i really want to play guitar

i started wanting to play it since i heard yui, from japan playing it. she's a local artist btw. it was fun just to hear to her songs and i was determined that one day, i will play a guitar. well, when will be that 'one day', still im not sure yet ..but then my mom said that she will not allow me to do so. *sigh. a bit hurt there. so there's nothing i can do about it. and then came IU, a teenage korean singer who debuted at the age 15-16's,and most important, loves to play guitar. she also composes some songs for her latest album, 'last fantasy' if im not mistaken, correct me if im wrong ^^. with her beautiful and charming voice, nice looking plus the talent, it came back to me again..that i really want to play a guitar. obviously not for glamour ok? i dont like it..i just wanna play it for fun ^^. but to be honest, my left hand is very........i dont know what to say..keras kot...there was a time when i tried to play a guitar and seriously my hand is just so stubborn!! yela..its been a while since the last time i play an instrument. it has been many years. i cant remember how to read notes, how to play.. of course la x igt..hentam keroo sja...ahahhaha^0^..asking for other people's help? PASS!! segan ler..dah la tgn jadi cni..org nk ajar pun mesti fed up...hhuhuhu T.T

really want to get back on my art skill. i still remember one of my friend says..
"ko bella, boleh melukis, men alat muzik..pergh! sgt2 flexible.."

i wish i can be like that again one more time
*yawn.. sleepy..not ready to sleep

napa..

lately you easily got angry, especially to me..
dlu abg bleh kawal lagi mrh abg..
skng stiap ari abg nk mrh..mula2 hepi ja n then ttba abg trus nk mrh2..

ckp sket slah..x jwb hp slah.. x blas slh..suma nabilah wat slah..tido slah..x tido slah..nabilah xtaw la nk wat apa..ikut abg la nk pk cna pun k? nabilah dah x larat..abg dah jnji..abg x mrh nabilah..tp abg mrh jugak..nabilah slalu ulang, slalu tnya abg..abg x mrah nabilah kan? kn?
nabilah nk ckp mcm2 ngn abg.. byk sgt bnda.. nabilah rndu abg sgt2..napa wat nabilah cni.. mlm2 nabilah ngs sorg2.. nabilah prlukan abg.. abg xphm nabilah ka.. T.T

hye

need for speed is waiting for you every night..

im so depressed

i am tired of crying. i am tired of being scolded. i am tired of studying medic. i am tired being left alone. i am tired being quiet. i am tired acting like i am oldest and have to do everything. i am tired of everything.i am not happy.

i need someone. i need you. though i said i wanted to be alone, i dont. please stay by my side.comfort me. please.

i cant hold on for much longer..