...
it's getting harder to express what i feel... don't know what to say
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
yes, sy sk pendam
rather than telling people stories, i like being silent and not saying anything..it's hard to get my mouth open because i know the moment i do that, i will start crying and i know it will be hard to stop.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
to mak
salam..yaya ni.. mesti mak pelik tetiba yaya nk bg surat kat mak..yaya nak cakap something ngan mak tapi yaya minta mak jangan terkejut, jangan marah, jangan stat pk yang bukan2.. mak baca bagi abeh dulu k? yaya tak lari ke mana pun, dont worry..
mak ingat tak bile masa abang cakap dia nak kawen tu kan? masa dalam keta 2, yaya terkejut juga sebab mak macam marah2.. sebab yaya pun ada hajat nk cakap kat mak yang yaya nk kawen. mungkin bukan masa terdekat tapi insyaAllah yaya pk masa belajar. mungkin tahun ketiga atau keempat. yaya dah pk banyak benda pasal hal2 camni. ada banyak sebab napa wat decision camtu. mak mungkin akan pk, yaya muda lagi, baru je 20, wat pe nak kawen awal2, yaya main2. tapi yaya pk2, pasal study, abah bleh smbung study wat master tapi bleh tampung kite 1 family..yaya tak rasa ganggu study sangat, tambah2 lagi yaya tak ada anak. nak kata kawen penyebab orang ramai fail tak juga. ramai je student tak kawen tapi fail. betul kan? at least yaya ada teman kalo nak pergi study kat mana2, rasa selamat sikit. kat sini yaya nak pergi beli barang kat UO 2 pun dah ada org kaco. secara jujur yaya cakap kat mak, yaya rasa x selesa and x selamat sebab kat kawasan yaya banyak je kes jadi. baru kat malaysia, kat india nanti tak tau la camne mak..yaya pun selalu cakap kat mak, yaya susah nak concentrate kat rumah sebab katil ada, dapur ada, banyak dugaan la. yaya dah cuba banyak kali study kat umah tapi tahan kejap je sebab x tahan ngantuk. nak minta member teman pun suma ada hal masing2. susah..at least kat luar yaya tau ada orang tengok jadi yaya tak tido. kat kmkn pun yaya x pernah study dalam bilik.
pasal duit, insyaAllah xde masalah. sebab 2 yaya sibuk2 jual tudung nak simpan duit. salah satu sebab ialah yaya nak simpan untuk kawen. acap plak ada syarikat baju. yaya dah try simpan duit sebanyak yang yaya boleh. alhamdulillah elaun pun dah dapat. insyaAllah cukup untuk sara hidup yaya. yaya bukannya spend untuk benda pelik2. yaya pk2 pasal anak kemudian cte la sebab yaya tak nak ganggu study. so yaya rasa duit xde masalah. mak pun tau yaya bukan jenis yang spend ikut sesuka ati je kan?
lagi 1 kan mak, yaya berkemungkinan tinggal asing ngan suami yaya bila dah kawen, sebab mak pun tahu, acap amek medic, yaya amek medic, takut2 kalo nanti posting lain2 tempat. yaya xnak tinggal asing.. mak pun tahu susah kan.. mak kene jaga nenek, jaga mia, jga mizan, jaga aca, nak jag kucing sorang2. yaya sedih tengok mak wat suma benda sorang2. mak tau keje medic suma ada oncall, ada shift suma. yaya nak jaga family yaya juga. yaya xnak dah kawen nanti kene tinggal asing..x suka..kalo apply nak tukar tempat pun kemungkinan besar tak dilayan sebab dah tnya banyak doktor and ramai tinggal asing2 dah bertahun..yaya xnak jadi macam 2..
yang paling penting mak, yaya nak kawen awal sebab yaya nak jaga hubungan yaya dengan Allah. mungkin mak akan pk yaya ni cakap je lebih tapi tak buat. konon nak jaga hubungan ngan Allah tapi kuar ngan laki. yaya kat sini jarang lepak ngan acap. kalo nak beli barang rumah pun yaya ajak kd teman yaya. yaya tak keluar 2 orang je. tapi still yaya rasa x selesa. macam yaya cakap tadi la, kalo pergi ngan budak2 perempuan je ada je orang kaco, yaya x suka. at least yaya rasa selamat sikit bile ada lelaki teman tapi ada mahram yaya jugak la. terpulang pada mak sama ada mak nak percaya atau tak, tapi sejak yaya dapat tau yang agreement mara dah dapat, masa 2 yaya nekad nak pakai tudung labuh, nak jaga hubungan yaya ngan Allah. Allah dah banyak tolong yaya dalam banyak cara, termasuklah bila yaya tengok mak dah stat ngaji balik, yaya hepi sangat2 ^^. yaya nak balas balik. tak salah kan?
mak selalu pesan, "percaya pada Allah, ihfazillah ya fazkah".. yaya pegang kata2 mak sampai sekarang..yaya dah cakap apa yang yaya pendam selama ni, yaya harap mak faham..keputusan kat tangan mak abah, yaya x boleh nak paksa..tapi yaya minta kat mak..kalo boleh yaya nak kawen sebelum abeh belajar.. boleh mak? yaya minta maaf kalo yaya ada wat mak marah atau sedih bila mak baca surat ni..yaya betul2 minta maf.. tapi yaya x mampu nak cakap depan2 ngan mak sebab yaya tau yaya xkan ada peluang bercakap kalo cakap face-to-face ngan mak. pasal abah, mak bagitau la kalo rasa masanya sesuai. mak lagi kenal abah macam mana.
teringat pesan mak masa kecik dulu, mak penah cite ciri2 bakal suami mak masa mak x kahwin lagi. yaya dah nekad, yaya nak kahwin sebelum abeh study. mak tolong la yaya kay? i love you soooo muchhhh!! yaya yaya x lari mana2 tau? kat ipoh je..
lots of love..
anakanda mu,
NABILAH FITRI
mak ingat tak bile masa abang cakap dia nak kawen tu kan? masa dalam keta 2, yaya terkejut juga sebab mak macam marah2.. sebab yaya pun ada hajat nk cakap kat mak yang yaya nk kawen. mungkin bukan masa terdekat tapi insyaAllah yaya pk masa belajar. mungkin tahun ketiga atau keempat. yaya dah pk banyak benda pasal hal2 camni. ada banyak sebab napa wat decision camtu. mak mungkin akan pk, yaya muda lagi, baru je 20, wat pe nak kawen awal2, yaya main2. tapi yaya pk2, pasal study, abah bleh smbung study wat master tapi bleh tampung kite 1 family..yaya tak rasa ganggu study sangat, tambah2 lagi yaya tak ada anak. nak kata kawen penyebab orang ramai fail tak juga. ramai je student tak kawen tapi fail. betul kan? at least yaya ada teman kalo nak pergi study kat mana2, rasa selamat sikit. kat sini yaya nak pergi beli barang kat UO 2 pun dah ada org kaco. secara jujur yaya cakap kat mak, yaya rasa x selesa and x selamat sebab kat kawasan yaya banyak je kes jadi. baru kat malaysia, kat india nanti tak tau la camne mak..yaya pun selalu cakap kat mak, yaya susah nak concentrate kat rumah sebab katil ada, dapur ada, banyak dugaan la. yaya dah cuba banyak kali study kat umah tapi tahan kejap je sebab x tahan ngantuk. nak minta member teman pun suma ada hal masing2. susah..at least kat luar yaya tau ada orang tengok jadi yaya tak tido. kat kmkn pun yaya x pernah study dalam bilik.
pasal duit, insyaAllah xde masalah. sebab 2 yaya sibuk2 jual tudung nak simpan duit. salah satu sebab ialah yaya nak simpan untuk kawen. acap plak ada syarikat baju. yaya dah try simpan duit sebanyak yang yaya boleh. alhamdulillah elaun pun dah dapat. insyaAllah cukup untuk sara hidup yaya. yaya bukannya spend untuk benda pelik2. yaya pk2 pasal anak kemudian cte la sebab yaya tak nak ganggu study. so yaya rasa duit xde masalah. mak pun tau yaya bukan jenis yang spend ikut sesuka ati je kan?
lagi 1 kan mak, yaya berkemungkinan tinggal asing ngan suami yaya bila dah kawen, sebab mak pun tahu, acap amek medic, yaya amek medic, takut2 kalo nanti posting lain2 tempat. yaya xnak tinggal asing.. mak pun tahu susah kan.. mak kene jaga nenek, jaga mia, jga mizan, jaga aca, nak jag kucing sorang2. yaya sedih tengok mak wat suma benda sorang2. mak tau keje medic suma ada oncall, ada shift suma. yaya nak jaga family yaya juga. yaya xnak dah kawen nanti kene tinggal asing..x suka..kalo apply nak tukar tempat pun kemungkinan besar tak dilayan sebab dah tnya banyak doktor and ramai tinggal asing2 dah bertahun..yaya xnak jadi macam 2..
yang paling penting mak, yaya nak kawen awal sebab yaya nak jaga hubungan yaya dengan Allah. mungkin mak akan pk yaya ni cakap je lebih tapi tak buat. konon nak jaga hubungan ngan Allah tapi kuar ngan laki. yaya kat sini jarang lepak ngan acap. kalo nak beli barang rumah pun yaya ajak kd teman yaya. yaya tak keluar 2 orang je. tapi still yaya rasa x selesa. macam yaya cakap tadi la, kalo pergi ngan budak2 perempuan je ada je orang kaco, yaya x suka. at least yaya rasa selamat sikit bile ada lelaki teman tapi ada mahram yaya jugak la. terpulang pada mak sama ada mak nak percaya atau tak, tapi sejak yaya dapat tau yang agreement mara dah dapat, masa 2 yaya nekad nak pakai tudung labuh, nak jaga hubungan yaya ngan Allah. Allah dah banyak tolong yaya dalam banyak cara, termasuklah bila yaya tengok mak dah stat ngaji balik, yaya hepi sangat2 ^^. yaya nak balas balik. tak salah kan?
mak selalu pesan, "percaya pada Allah, ihfazillah ya fazkah".. yaya pegang kata2 mak sampai sekarang..yaya dah cakap apa yang yaya pendam selama ni, yaya harap mak faham..keputusan kat tangan mak abah, yaya x boleh nak paksa..tapi yaya minta kat mak..kalo boleh yaya nak kawen sebelum abeh belajar.. boleh mak? yaya minta maaf kalo yaya ada wat mak marah atau sedih bila mak baca surat ni..yaya betul2 minta maf.. tapi yaya x mampu nak cakap depan2 ngan mak sebab yaya tau yaya xkan ada peluang bercakap kalo cakap face-to-face ngan mak. pasal abah, mak bagitau la kalo rasa masanya sesuai. mak lagi kenal abah macam mana.
teringat pesan mak masa kecik dulu, mak penah cite ciri2 bakal suami mak masa mak x kahwin lagi. yaya dah nekad, yaya nak kahwin sebelum abeh study. mak tolong la yaya kay? i love you soooo muchhhh!! yaya yaya x lari mana2 tau? kat ipoh je..
lots of love..
anakanda mu,
NABILAH FITRI
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Carilah Untukmu Seorang Imam
Carilah Untukmu Seorang Imam | iluvislam.com discover the beauty of islam
found this kat iluvislam.com..cute..and it makes me think about something..anyway.. have fun reading it
assalamualaikum ^^
found this kat iluvislam.com..cute..and it makes me think about something..anyway.. have fun reading it
assalamualaikum ^^
on weekend
mcm biasa xjd la study la kan..*sigh* td stok tudung dah smpai..hopefully semua jalan lancar..dengan harapan dapat duit sara hidup lebih..haha..bunyi bajet dah besar je kan tp masih student lagi..baru masuk thun 2 medic..huhu.. i was on my way to the mosque ptg td, trus solat zohor berjemaah.. i thought..
"kosong nye masjid.."
there was this one grandma present, she was walking all the way to the mosque.. i was like...napa seorg nenek tua boleh jlan kaki pg masjid, yg muda2 sihat walafiat x pg solat kat masjid..pmikiran org..
"ala..x smpai hidayah lagi"
"aku muda lagi, byk lagi masa"
"bz la..byk bnda nk wat"
"solat kat umah pun bleh, asalkan solat"
bukan nk mgutuk atau mengata sesiapa..saya pun macam 2 jugak kdg2..manusia x perfect kan? ^^ cuma rsa kosong sgt ptg td..masjid merupakan tempat umat islam solat..salahkah kita luangkan sedikit je masa pg masjid, x lama pun kan solat.. rata2 antara kita dah ada kereta..budak sekolah tolak tepi la..even budak2 universiti dah ada kete masing nk g klas..rasa kecewa jugak la sebab npk "agak" ramai time ari weekdays sb budak kolej ada klas..org keje..ptg td x smpai 1 saf pun, 10 org pun x smpai..sdeh gak la tgk keadaan cm2 kan
kita xtau bile ajal kita so jgn la kata "oh aku muda lagi" dan sebagainya.. kay people?? its not good..bile dah dijadiakan habit mmg susah nk buang.. pastu mula la xdpt hidayah la, x smpai lagi la..x suka org bg alasan cm2.. kene la cr hidayah 2 kay? kalo xdpat jugak ada la x kene.. tgk diri blek, reflect blek.. mana kita wat silap, dalam solat ke, dalam ibadah seharian ke, dgn org lain ke, even amek wuduk x btul pun boleh wat solat kita x sempurna.. ingat 2!!
simple je talk ari ni..saje tpk2 time dok kat masjid td..anyway, hav a blessful day from today onwards insyaAlllah.. ^^ salam
"kosong nye masjid.."
there was this one grandma present, she was walking all the way to the mosque.. i was like...napa seorg nenek tua boleh jlan kaki pg masjid, yg muda2 sihat walafiat x pg solat kat masjid..pmikiran org..
"ala..x smpai hidayah lagi"
"aku muda lagi, byk lagi masa"
"bz la..byk bnda nk wat"
"solat kat umah pun bleh, asalkan solat"
bukan nk mgutuk atau mengata sesiapa..saya pun macam 2 jugak kdg2..manusia x perfect kan? ^^ cuma rsa kosong sgt ptg td..masjid merupakan tempat umat islam solat..salahkah kita luangkan sedikit je masa pg masjid, x lama pun kan solat.. rata2 antara kita dah ada kereta..budak sekolah tolak tepi la..even budak2 universiti dah ada kete masing nk g klas..rasa kecewa jugak la sebab npk "agak" ramai time ari weekdays sb budak kolej ada klas..org keje..ptg td x smpai 1 saf pun, 10 org pun x smpai..sdeh gak la tgk keadaan cm2 kan
kita xtau bile ajal kita so jgn la kata "oh aku muda lagi" dan sebagainya.. kay people?? its not good..bile dah dijadiakan habit mmg susah nk buang.. pastu mula la xdpt hidayah la, x smpai lagi la..x suka org bg alasan cm2.. kene la cr hidayah 2 kay? kalo xdpat jugak ada la x kene.. tgk diri blek, reflect blek.. mana kita wat silap, dalam solat ke, dalam ibadah seharian ke, dgn org lain ke, even amek wuduk x btul pun boleh wat solat kita x sempurna.. ingat 2!!
simple je talk ari ni..saje tpk2 time dok kat masjid td..anyway, hav a blessful day from today onwards insyaAlllah.. ^^ salam
Sunday, July 1, 2012
i dont think it's necessary anymore
plan nk jual tdung = fail
plan nk bli purdah = fail
plan nk study = fail
termenung = achieved
lost appetite = achieved
things does not work out T.T
plan nk bli purdah = fail
plan nk study = fail
termenung = achieved
lost appetite = achieved
things does not work out T.T
Friday, June 29, 2012
cita-cita kedua
salam..
oleh kerana sya rs mcm duit 2 sng2 je bleh hlg..sy rs nk wat keje part-time (konon) iaitu jual tudung. ye. jual tudung! hoho..sy dpt idea bernas ini dr mna?? ha..ni nk cite ni setelah sekian lama bru nk upadate kn... (sori u..).. cni cite nye..sy biasa la wat ruti harian dok tgk2 tdung kat internet..nafsu kat tudung mmg tgi kan nk wat cne.. rs nk bli je suma kn?? haha..n tgk la 1 page ni budak2 malaysia yg study kat mesir wat bisnes..ok lagi la..yg x thn diorg jual kat malaysia..punya la jauh anta kain ulang alik kan..pergh iman mmg kuat.. solute!! sy yg dah x thn sgt kan tgk la lg sbb seyes lawa n sgt cheap..thinking that the material is all the way from egypt.. jauh merantau tudung 2.. cuci2 mata walaupun time 2 x dpt elaun lg..walaupun setahun mnggu...(xpe, sbo lagi..) bajet je cuci mata tp member pun dah excited 2 yg wat lagi x thn nk bli.. *sigh*..xpe2..thn lg niat..then mlm last sblum they close the offer for the first batch..tgk2 ada plak kaler baru n sy jd btmbh2 excited trus cite kat mmber lg sorg, dok promote psl ke-lawa-an tdung tersebut..dia pun bg lampu hijau.. *ching2* dia pun nk bli..mmg cnfrm dah la..aku pun tumpang sekaki sb apa? sbb bli dua jimat postage.. Ya Allah!! trus x pk apa anta borg nk bli.. *keh2* si dia plak offer guna duit dia dlu.. sy pun guna la peluang!! tp x hutang kay??
so payment dah wat..dok usha2 last2 dpt tau budak2 2 budak medic (mcm sy), yg dok lagi jauh dr malaysia tp wat bisnes smpai ke malaysia sb diorg jual gak kat are mesir sana.. so sy pun tpk la..kalo diorg leh wat..asal x sy sndiri..diorg ada comment bli kain n potong2..so no hal je la kn? tp usha2 kedai jahit tepi cm mahal lak *sigh* biasa la nk wat bisnes.. anyway.. i'm not going to give up!! no2!! sy nk smpn duit lebih nk kawen!! HAHA..untuk guna juagk..nk harap mara mmg cm dh serik gak la..so nk jadi independent nk jual tlg (with some help from some people la of course)..xnk la ttba duit jd kong cm dlu..huhu..susah nk hidup..
anyway.. all the best..
ASSALAMUALAIKUM ^^
oleh kerana sya rs mcm duit 2 sng2 je bleh hlg..sy rs nk wat keje part-time (konon) iaitu jual tudung. ye. jual tudung! hoho..sy dpt idea bernas ini dr mna?? ha..ni nk cite ni setelah sekian lama bru nk upadate kn... (sori u..).. cni cite nye..sy biasa la wat ruti harian dok tgk2 tdung kat internet..nafsu kat tudung mmg tgi kan nk wat cne.. rs nk bli je suma kn?? haha..n tgk la 1 page ni budak2 malaysia yg study kat mesir wat bisnes..ok lagi la..yg x thn diorg jual kat malaysia..punya la jauh anta kain ulang alik kan..pergh iman mmg kuat.. solute!! sy yg dah x thn sgt kan tgk la lg sbb seyes lawa n sgt cheap..thinking that the material is all the way from egypt.. jauh merantau tudung 2.. cuci2 mata walaupun time 2 x dpt elaun lg..walaupun setahun mnggu...(xpe, sbo lagi..) bajet je cuci mata tp member pun dah excited 2 yg wat lagi x thn nk bli.. *sigh*..xpe2..thn lg niat..then mlm last sblum they close the offer for the first batch..tgk2 ada plak kaler baru n sy jd btmbh2 excited trus cite kat mmber lg sorg, dok promote psl ke-lawa-an tdung tersebut..dia pun bg lampu hijau.. *ching2* dia pun nk bli..mmg cnfrm dah la..aku pun tumpang sekaki sb apa? sbb bli dua jimat postage.. Ya Allah!! trus x pk apa anta borg nk bli.. *keh2* si dia plak offer guna duit dia dlu.. sy pun guna la peluang!! tp x hutang kay??
so payment dah wat..dok usha2 last2 dpt tau budak2 2 budak medic (mcm sy), yg dok lagi jauh dr malaysia tp wat bisnes smpai ke malaysia sb diorg jual gak kat are mesir sana.. so sy pun tpk la..kalo diorg leh wat..asal x sy sndiri..diorg ada comment bli kain n potong2..so no hal je la kn? tp usha2 kedai jahit tepi cm mahal lak *sigh* biasa la nk wat bisnes.. anyway.. i'm not going to give up!! no2!! sy nk smpn duit lebih nk kawen!! HAHA..untuk guna juagk..nk harap mara mmg cm dh serik gak la..so nk jadi independent nk jual tlg (with some help from some people la of course)..xnk la ttba duit jd kong cm dlu..huhu..susah nk hidup..
anyway.. all the best..
ASSALAMUALAIKUM ^^
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
my answer
recently with the GIT module was ok and i understand the lectures quite easily...seronok mmg sgt la seronok..haha..but that's not the main thing i want to talk about here.. it's about OUR future
well honestly, things get up-side-down a bit with my 'moving house' stuff, your car, work, study, elaun and all that..it's quite..you know..hectic i can say.. we still need to know what we should do, how to like 'susun' everything in place coz its going to take while.. and don't forget to remind me about something happen in the new house kay? so.. for me.. quite hard i must say.. we need to settle the payment every month and i'm quite scared.. whether we can handle it on our own.. i mean our study and your work.. luckily zul came along with you to give a helping hand.. but don't use the car for something that is not important kay? mom asked me to remind you about that thing.. and if you need any of my help..i am just few roads away ^^
for study, i really need you to keep remind me to study.. i need motivation each and every day so don't get bored about it.. and i will do the same thing to you.. i want us to excel in study even though we're gonna be busy in the future.. i don't want our parents think that we are goofing around, i want they know that we are really serious.. so i've decided.. until we have kewangan yg betul3 kukuh, i won't tell my parents yet about us wanting to get married, till then we really need to strive in each thing we do..just cucuk2 sket2 la.. at least when they ask about money and expenses untuk lpas kawen nnt, we already have it in our hand.. at that time, we might only need to study really hard.. i'll try my best talk to them kay? pray for me.. make me strong, i need your support..and so does HIS.. ^^ study kk??
and about our planning on marriage, it cost a lot even though some things look easy and murah nk beli.. but life after marriage is not cheap.. we need to pay for the monthly rental, furniture, car gas, barang dapur, bils etc2... so it REALLY cost a fortune.. i know you want to make it simple as it can be.. so do i..but we must expect higher than that.. prepare backup plan..like you said, you don't want money to become the problem of our relationship..
but not just that.. i want us to be prepare..secara rohani...mind, body and soul.. for me that is the most important thing.. marriage is a long term relationship.. insyaAllah smpai ke Jannah.. i don't want kite semangat nk kawen.. last2 sebenanye kita x fully prepared.. i don't want that to happen to us.. like you said again, cari duit pandai anak tungggang langgang.. insyaallah saya nak awak Muhammad Ashraf bin Ahmad menjadi imam saya, lelaki yg boleh bimbing saya and anak2 saya.. the one yang akan jadi teman hidup saya smpai bla2.. but i don't us to forget the reason why we want to get married early.. masing2 nk berada sah di sisi masing2.. nk dpat redha Allah.. i don't want bile dah kawen we will forget all those things.. masing2 ada tgungjawab, i will do my best to do mine, and you will do your best to do yours.. perkahwinan adalah satu sunnah Rasulullah.. bila dah ada anak nnti, dah menjadi 1 amanah untuk jaga diorg.. i want my kids to be soleh and solehah.. just like their late grandfather.. it's not a game like playing masak2 mcm time kecik2 dlu.. it's a whole different thing..
you know what.. one of my girl friend told me her love story just now and i cried.. how he love her so much make me felt so touched and i can't stop thinking about it.. how he take good care of her... though i don't know how it will end actually.. -.-"
hye you, Muhammad Ashraf bin Ahmad..
though i'm not the perfect girl you have been looking for.. i will try my best to please you now and especially when we are sah as husband and wife..
i will do my best to please HIM as i believe that he will help us despite all the hard times we had in the past, present and definitely in the future.. HE is the Almighty..
be strong and don't get mad at me easily.. i'm doing my best.. study well.. don't work too much..keep in track to Allah..
regards..
Nabilah Fitri Shamsuddin
well honestly, things get up-side-down a bit with my 'moving house' stuff, your car, work, study, elaun and all that..it's quite..you know..hectic i can say.. we still need to know what we should do, how to like 'susun' everything in place coz its going to take while.. and don't forget to remind me about something happen in the new house kay? so.. for me.. quite hard i must say.. we need to settle the payment every month and i'm quite scared.. whether we can handle it on our own.. i mean our study and your work.. luckily zul came along with you to give a helping hand.. but don't use the car for something that is not important kay? mom asked me to remind you about that thing.. and if you need any of my help..i am just few roads away ^^
for study, i really need you to keep remind me to study.. i need motivation each and every day so don't get bored about it.. and i will do the same thing to you.. i want us to excel in study even though we're gonna be busy in the future.. i don't want our parents think that we are goofing around, i want they know that we are really serious.. so i've decided.. until we have kewangan yg betul3 kukuh, i won't tell my parents yet about us wanting to get married, till then we really need to strive in each thing we do..just cucuk2 sket2 la.. at least when they ask about money and expenses untuk lpas kawen nnt, we already have it in our hand.. at that time, we might only need to study really hard.. i'll try my best talk to them kay? pray for me.. make me strong, i need your support..and so does HIS.. ^^ study kk??
and about our planning on marriage, it cost a lot even though some things look easy and murah nk beli.. but life after marriage is not cheap.. we need to pay for the monthly rental, furniture, car gas, barang dapur, bils etc2... so it REALLY cost a fortune.. i know you want to make it simple as it can be.. so do i..but we must expect higher than that.. prepare backup plan..like you said, you don't want money to become the problem of our relationship..
but not just that.. i want us to be prepare..secara rohani...mind, body and soul.. for me that is the most important thing.. marriage is a long term relationship.. insyaAllah smpai ke Jannah.. i don't want kite semangat nk kawen.. last2 sebenanye kita x fully prepared.. i don't want that to happen to us.. like you said again, cari duit pandai anak tungggang langgang.. insyaallah saya nak awak Muhammad Ashraf bin Ahmad menjadi imam saya, lelaki yg boleh bimbing saya and anak2 saya.. the one yang akan jadi teman hidup saya smpai bla2.. but i don't us to forget the reason why we want to get married early.. masing2 nk berada sah di sisi masing2.. nk dpat redha Allah.. i don't want bile dah kawen we will forget all those things.. masing2 ada tgungjawab, i will do my best to do mine, and you will do your best to do yours.. perkahwinan adalah satu sunnah Rasulullah.. bila dah ada anak nnti, dah menjadi 1 amanah untuk jaga diorg.. i want my kids to be soleh and solehah.. just like their late grandfather.. it's not a game like playing masak2 mcm time kecik2 dlu.. it's a whole different thing..
you know what.. one of my girl friend told me her love story just now and i cried.. how he love her so much make me felt so touched and i can't stop thinking about it.. how he take good care of her... though i don't know how it will end actually.. -.-"
hye you, Muhammad Ashraf bin Ahmad..
though i'm not the perfect girl you have been looking for.. i will try my best to please you now and especially when we are sah as husband and wife..
i will do my best to please HIM as i believe that he will help us despite all the hard times we had in the past, present and definitely in the future.. HE is the Almighty..
be strong and don't get mad at me easily.. i'm doing my best.. study well.. don't work too much..keep in track to Allah..
regards..
Nabilah Fitri Shamsuddin
Sunday, June 3, 2012
T.T
seriously, let me help you..i really hate it when you're not allowing me to help you.. it hurts...don't take things to urself..you are not a superhero..
Monday, May 14, 2012
muhasabah diri 1
sejak duduk di rumah mmg jrg la dgr lagu mat salleh oleh kerana family saya hanya dgr radio IKIM SAHAJA. yela..some members in the family has changed, alhamdulillah ^^. tgk tv pun ALHIJRAH, ASTRO OASIS, mmg jrg la tgk benda x ketahuan yg lagha 2 kan.. alhamdulillah lagi sekali ^^. aku pun xle la leka sgt..just mlm je tgk cite korea sket then xde tgk2 sgt dah. tgk2 tv ari 2, ada la sorg imam arab ni, dia ckp psal Rasulullah s.a.w. dia ckp psal bgaimana Rasulullah s.a.w melayan isteri2 baginda dah terseronok nk dgr la kan.. dia ckp arab tp ada sari kata la. x reti bahasa arab ni.
SIFAT RASULULLAH PADA ISTERI BAGINDA
dia ada ckp la suami haruslah melayan isteri dgn baik seperti mana Rasulullah s.a.w melayan para isterinya. seperti yg kita sedia maklum, selain Siti Khadijah r.a, baginda ada isterinya yg lain, yg famous kita selalu dgr ialah Aisyah r.a, isteri baginda yg paling muda. kita tgk la pada zaman sekarang, tgk drama melayu pun byk je cite laki suka pkul isteri smpai merayu2 isteri 2 mtk ampun, smpai berdarah2 pun ada. walhal Rasulullah s.a.w yg dijaga dr dosa, kekasih Allah pun x penah pukul isterinya malah baginda menegur isterinya dengan penuh lemah lembut. aku pk2 la kan, org arab kita tau ada yg kasar cara diorg, termasuklah Rasulullah s.a.w (org arab). jadi sedangkan baginda berlemah lembut dengan isterinya, apatah lg kita (saya org melayu ^^ and proud of it). boleh je kan tgur lembut? si isteri plak jgn la nk lawan ckp suami..k2?
lagi 1 Rasulullah s.a.w selalu meluangkan masa dengan isterinya walaupun kita tau Rasulullah s.a.w pada masa yg sma berdakwah untuk menarik org arab untuk masuk islam. baginda tlg wat keje rumah, jaga anak, menjahit pakaian, dan sebagainye. dalam kesibukannya, baginda tetap ada masa untuk bermesra dengan isterinya dgn cara seperti berlumba kuda, berkejar2 dengan Aisyah r.a dan memandikan isterinya. ada sekali di mana Aisyah r.a tidak dapat untuk menaiki kudanya kerana beliau tidak sampai untuk naik kuda tersebut. namun Rasulullah s.a.w merendahkan dirinya dan melutut supaya Aisyah r.a dpt memijak lututnya dan naik kuda tersebut. imam 2 ada kata, tidak bolehkan untuk suami untuk membuka pintu kereta untuk isterinya dengan niat untuk mengikut sunnah Rasulullah s.a.w? yela..zaman dulu kuda 2 kenderaan la kan?
Rasulullah juga penah minum dr bekas air yg telah diminum oleh Aisyah r.a yg pada ketika itu tgh uzur (menses la time 2). Aisyah r.a berkata yg pada ketika itu beliau sedang uzur namun Rasulullah s.a.w ambil bekas minumannya dan minum dri bekas yg sama dia telah minum sebelum, di sini nk menunjukkan bahawa bekas2 dr perempuan uzur itu adalah tidak kotor. boleh je nk kongsi makanan sma2 tpi no persetubuhan k? haram 2...murka Allah
yg menarik perhatian saya lagi 1 adalah Rasulullah s.a.w juga memberikan hadiah kepada sahabat2 isterinya sebagai tanda penghargaan. betapa sayangnya Rasulullah s.a.w kepada isterinya..
em..apa lg ek? 2 je la yg igt kot? oh, ada lg psal 2 shbt ni, Umar Al-Khattab and Abdul Rahman bin Auf
KISAH UMAR AL KHATTAB SEBELUM ISLAM
cni kisahnya, adek n mak aku cita la pasal kisah Umar..sdih sgt..terkenang smpai skng
adek : kak ya, tau x cita pasal Umar kak ya?
me : cita apa?
mak : ha'ah ya. sdeh sgt ya. ari 2 mak dgr kat radio, Umar 2 kan grg orgnya, kasar kan?
me: em..
mak : dlu sebelum dia masuk islam, dia dok sibuk la betulkan org kan (ke arah yg slah la time 2), pas2 ada org tgur dia kata, lebih kurg cni la, "engkau Umar sibuk btulkan org, engkau 2 macam mana?" (pada ketika itu, Umar ada anak pmpn and pada ketika zaman Jahiliah, anak pmpn 2 kira x bwk untung la kn..sian diorg). so Umar pun blek, dia gali lubg besar nk tanam anak dia..
me: em..
mak :lepas 2 kan ya, Umar dok gali2 lubang 2, bile tanah kene janggut Umar, anak dia yg tlg sapukan tanah 2, padahal dia nk tanam anak dia ya..
me: ....
mak: isteri dia merayu2 kat dia ya, dia kata "x kesian ka kat anak kita? dia kecik lg". Umar wat xtau je ya. punya la keras ati dia.. lpas dia msuk islam dia igt lg mata anak dia berair2 masa dia tanam anak dia, dia x lupa anak dia. anak dia menangis2 masa kena tanam tp punya la keras ati Umar..kesian kn ya? dia menyesal sgt.
me: em.. (aku sdeh sgt2 dgr..sian anak kena tanam hidup2...)
psal Abdul Rahman bin Auf x byk pun, just tdgr kat radio tadi dia kata, nk kata punya kaya n dermawannya beliau, 1/3 harta beliau diberi kepada org susah, 1/3 harta dia beri untuk tlg org berhutang, and 1/3 harta beliau guna untuk mengeratkan silaturrahim. byk nya pahala dia kan? nk dibandingkan dengan kita ni, bape byk la kita wat kn? (termasuk diri yg menulis)
oleh itu, pesanan, layan lah isteri anda dengan baik bg yg dah berkahwin, syangi anak anda, tlg la stop buang baby yg x bersalah, xthn nafsu kahwin je..jgn wat maksiat, and jgnlah kedekut.. ingatlah dalam setiap kesusahan pasti ada kemudahan selepas 2 ^^
Monday, May 7, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
into the new world by SNSD
I want to let you know that sad times have worn away before you hear them.
Close your eyes. Feel my heart getting closer to you,
and my eyes looking only at you.
*
Don't wait for a special miracle
There's a long, hard journey ahead of us.
The future is unclear, but I don't want to change a thing
I can't give up.
Protect me with your unchanging love, and protect my bruised heart.
We can speak with our eyes, thus no need for words.
Time has stopped for us...
**
I love you with all my heart
It is the end of my lost time
I'm saying goodbye to our world's repeated saddness
At the end of every unknown road,
I will reach for that frail light
And you & I will be together through it all...
Into the new world.
*,**
In the black of night, I alone can feel your softness and your heart.
The warmth of this moment washes over me
And I send you all of my feelings
I love you with all my heart
It is the end of my lost time
I'm saying goodbye to our world's repeated sadness
Just thinking about you, I'm stronger
Help me learn how to never cry
My feelings, in this moment that we share together...
Into the new world.
Love the lyrics..click here
Close your eyes. Feel my heart getting closer to you,
and my eyes looking only at you.
*
Don't wait for a special miracle
There's a long, hard journey ahead of us.
The future is unclear, but I don't want to change a thing
I can't give up.
Protect me with your unchanging love, and protect my bruised heart.
We can speak with our eyes, thus no need for words.
Time has stopped for us...
**
I love you with all my heart
It is the end of my lost time
I'm saying goodbye to our world's repeated saddness
At the end of every unknown road,
I will reach for that frail light
And you & I will be together through it all...
Into the new world.
*,**
In the black of night, I alone can feel your softness and your heart.
The warmth of this moment washes over me
And I send you all of my feelings
I love you with all my heart
It is the end of my lost time
I'm saying goodbye to our world's repeated sadness
Just thinking about you, I'm stronger
Help me learn how to never cry
My feelings, in this moment that we share together...
Into the new world.
Love the lyrics..click here
#note 6
i felt so stupid..i should keep my mouth shut from now on
how hurt can it gets..
sometimes it 's better not to talk at all or you'll worsen things up for good.
how hurt can it gets..
sometimes it 's better not to talk at all or you'll worsen things up for good.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
waiting and waiting..
for angah 2 reply my text kat facebook. oleh kerana dia masuk hospital di atas kecederaan yg tidak disengajakan, kene la tgu nk cnfrmkn pasal keje.. haih..xpe2..sabo2.. doa byk2.. nk kmpul byk2 duit (bukan sb mata duitan k?) untuk kawen!
for the time 2 daftar kolej blek.. agak x sbar tpi x tau dah prepare ke x sb 1st year punya silibus pun x strong lg..bsok2 kene study lg ni.. FIGHTING!!!
for the flood to subside sb baru pk nk bli 2 ari lpas tp x dpt sb hujan lebat and bnjir truk di kjg..nk kata truk sgt punya kes smpai atap melayang entah ke mana..not my house la. my school..atap berlubang2..kelas bnjir and budak2 has no place 2 study..poor them.. (poor my sibs)..nk bli jubah baru untuk yam.. T.T
for me to get a bit older and become more mature (hopefully) and being able to change my parents perception on me..
...
and blank.. xtaw nk tulis apa.. ni pun sb he asked me too.. i guess he miss me? hhee..3 ari x cntct and masing2 wat keje masing2..pg td bc blog dia and i laughed sb i felt it was so so sooo cute..he made a planner on our wedding budget and life-after-marriage budget! so unpredictable him..pagi2 dah pndai wat org senyum ^^.. thnx dear.. kite doa byk2 k? ^^
thanx sgt2..i really love it
salam
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM ^^
for the time 2 daftar kolej blek.. agak x sbar tpi x tau dah prepare ke x sb 1st year punya silibus pun x strong lg..bsok2 kene study lg ni.. FIGHTING!!!
for the flood to subside sb baru pk nk bli 2 ari lpas tp x dpt sb hujan lebat and bnjir truk di kjg..nk kata truk sgt punya kes smpai atap melayang entah ke mana..not my house la. my school..atap berlubang2..kelas bnjir and budak2 has no place 2 study..poor them.. (poor my sibs)..nk bli jubah baru untuk yam.. T.T
for me to get a bit older and become more mature (hopefully) and being able to change my parents perception on me..
...
and blank.. xtaw nk tulis apa.. ni pun sb he asked me too.. i guess he miss me? hhee..3 ari x cntct and masing2 wat keje masing2..pg td bc blog dia and i laughed sb i felt it was so so sooo cute..he made a planner on our wedding budget and life-after-marriage budget! so unpredictable him..pagi2 dah pndai wat org senyum ^^.. thnx dear.. kite doa byk2 k? ^^
thanx sgt2..i really love it
salam
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM ^^
Saturday, April 28, 2012
i guess i have to wait a lil bit more
it is almost may and there are few days more till the 'vacation' ends. hhaha..vacation la sangat kn? semalam blek keje dr kl..mgu ni insyaAllah ada rezeki kene g lagi..huhu..mmg lpas ni xde la nk ngadu keje penat ke apa..kene buasakan...ye x? hehe..
this week was more than ok..i went to buy 2 jubah with my mom kat kajang sebab murah punya pasal..^^ and semalam plak keje...x sempat tgk my sis kat skola dia..blek umah je dh 6 lbeh..pnat jugak la kn..kat tmpat keje jumpa some few kwn lama spt Aqilah Asri, one of my best friend kt mrsm, Hasif her ex-classmate, Nik Fatin Filzah my teman gaduh kat kmkn, Angah my scandal kat plkn dlu, and not 2 forget my senior kat rcmp yg dah kawen Kak Hafizah who i terjumpa kat putrajaya.. congrats to her!! x cukup tgn semalam sb ramai sgt jumpa...pas2 sembang2 ngn budak len jugak kat 'office'.. tjumpa pak su tp x sempat tgur sb dia on phone and i'm with angah..so bz2 people....haha.. xde la..wat kan dri bz jew..x bz mana pun ^^
oh..not 2 forget i bought some new hand socks, plain and colored ones, i so love it!!! so cute!! nk ikut ati bli je suma tapi xde duit ye anak2..huhu..tgu elaun masuk.. if x bz mula la pk pasal nk kawen *gatal sgt dah..
mana x nyew, dpt tau Dena Bahrin dah kawen yesterday lagi la melaram nk kawen..both wearing white attire.. sgt cute!! and few days ago my mom mentioned about my brother mintak nikah khitbah kat my mom..bncg ngn my dad tp my dad pun senyap je...so tau2 la the answer is no.. if my brother cm2..lagi2 la kalo i'm the one yg mintak nk kawen.. confirm kene reject bulat2 kn? so pulas la kpala pk nk ckp cne kat mak abah pasal kawen ni.. my mom said something cni..
(in the car nk jemput abg blek)
mom : xdela..kalo nk kawen pun, kak I*** 2 cne? nnti dia nk blik cne? kalo faamily dia tnya cne plak? mak xtaw la...
...
at that time mmg x byk ckp la sb xtau nk ckp apa kn.. i just don't understand the kak I*** part nak blik mana 2..kalo dah kawen ngn abg.. ikut la nk blik mana kn??..huhu..ntoh le...kita berserah je la ye? huhuhuhu
*kene sabar lagi....
salam.
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM ^^
this week was more than ok..i went to buy 2 jubah with my mom kat kajang sebab murah punya pasal..^^ and semalam plak keje...x sempat tgk my sis kat skola dia..blek umah je dh 6 lbeh..pnat jugak la kn..kat tmpat keje jumpa some few kwn lama spt Aqilah Asri, one of my best friend kt mrsm, Hasif her ex-classmate, Nik Fatin Filzah my teman gaduh kat kmkn, Angah my scandal kat plkn dlu, and not 2 forget my senior kat rcmp yg dah kawen Kak Hafizah who i terjumpa kat putrajaya.. congrats to her!! x cukup tgn semalam sb ramai sgt jumpa...pas2 sembang2 ngn budak len jugak kat 'office'.. tjumpa pak su tp x sempat tgur sb dia on phone and i'm with angah..so bz2 people....haha.. xde la..wat kan dri bz jew..x bz mana pun ^^
oh..not 2 forget i bought some new hand socks, plain and colored ones, i so love it!!! so cute!! nk ikut ati bli je suma tapi xde duit ye anak2..huhu..tgu elaun masuk.. if x bz mula la pk pasal nk kawen *gatal sgt dah..
mana x nyew, dpt tau Dena Bahrin dah kawen yesterday lagi la melaram nk kawen..both wearing white attire.. sgt cute!! and few days ago my mom mentioned about my brother mintak nikah khitbah kat my mom..bncg ngn my dad tp my dad pun senyap je...so tau2 la the answer is no.. if my brother cm2..lagi2 la kalo i'm the one yg mintak nk kawen.. confirm kene reject bulat2 kn? so pulas la kpala pk nk ckp cne kat mak abah pasal kawen ni.. my mom said something cni..
(in the car nk jemput abg blek)
mom : ni mak cite kat yaya, yaya jgn cite kat abg taw?
me : ye2..
mom : ari2 abg I**** mintak nikah khitbah kat mak
me : (....)
mom : bla.. bla.. bla.. *censored ^^
me : abah tau x?
mom : tau.. mak dah ckp kat abh dah ari 2..abah senyap je, wat xtaw je..phm2 je la
me: oh..
...
at that time mmg x byk ckp la sb xtau nk ckp apa kn.. i just don't understand the kak I*** part nak blik mana 2..kalo dah kawen ngn abg.. ikut la nk blik mana kn??..huhu..ntoh le...kita berserah je la ye? huhuhuhu
*kene sabar lagi....
salam.
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM ^^
Monday, April 23, 2012
change?
lately, i kept thinking about how i used to be and the way i am now. i
was a girl who doesn't act like one, you know, wearing t-shirts instead
of 'baju kurung', wearing sport shoe instead of heels. yeah, how bad i
can be. i have to admit, i like way i am before. i like to wear my fav
army pants which i bought it in hong kong 2 years ago, and i like to
wear my brother's sweater which is so big, my hand is too short i can't
see it. and i love sport shoes. so comfy. love it so much. well, i grew
up with my brothers and their friends for years until my sister was
born. took her long enough ^^. i don't like being labeled as a 'gedik'
girl and i really don't like it when guys stare or look or wink to me.
it is just so wrong. that is also why i dressed like a guy. but as i
grew up, i know that it is quite unpleasant for a girl to act like a
guy. when i go to 'kenduri kahwin', i don't wear 'baju kurung'.
haha..weird huh? yeah, how bad i used to be. i tried to changed bit by
bit and it was hard.
i started off with my 'tudung', followed by my shirts. i kept 'angan2' of buying new clothes because my shirts is too 'ketat' and short, i don't plan on wearing it anymore. so, my clothes is quite limited i must say. well, baju kurung banyak la tapi keinginan nk pakai baju kurung 2 agak susah la. malas nk gosok. 2 je sebab nye ^^. i don't know since when it happen but i totally fall in love with long dress and jubah now. well, recently i was reading dena bahrin's blog. she's a friend of a friend. she updated about what she has been doing recently which is preparing for her wedding. congrats to her ^^. and i saw her picture wearing a red dress and white cardigan with orange-like tudung. it was just so cute and it comes to me like...
"oh, how cute can it be if all girls and women wearing the same proper clothes as she is? would the world be at peace"
haha.quite funny, don't mind it. i'm just saying that 'manisnya tengok perempuan pakai baju cam2'. kalo mak boyfriend nampak memamg wat menantu la kan? haha..kidding2.. but i'm saying the truth, how would i felt if all of my family members do the same thing. sejuk je mata memandang kan? i'm not saying that it was wrong with the way people dress. it is their freedom to do what they want to do. it is a free world, ok?
dalam hati memang dah lama nak beli tapi x mampu..ye la student lagi..elaun plak x masuk2..*sigh
took this pic from hijabschool page. have a visit there. i TOTALLY love their clothes!! \(^0^)/
i'm' trying my best to be like a 'true girl' ^^. be patient with me, sorry for last night
salam.
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM. ^^
i started off with my 'tudung', followed by my shirts. i kept 'angan2' of buying new clothes because my shirts is too 'ketat' and short, i don't plan on wearing it anymore. so, my clothes is quite limited i must say. well, baju kurung banyak la tapi keinginan nk pakai baju kurung 2 agak susah la. malas nk gosok. 2 je sebab nye ^^. i don't know since when it happen but i totally fall in love with long dress and jubah now. well, recently i was reading dena bahrin's blog. she's a friend of a friend. she updated about what she has been doing recently which is preparing for her wedding. congrats to her ^^. and i saw her picture wearing a red dress and white cardigan with orange-like tudung. it was just so cute and it comes to me like...
"oh, how cute can it be if all girls and women wearing the same proper clothes as she is? would the world be at peace"
haha.quite funny, don't mind it. i'm just saying that 'manisnya tengok perempuan pakai baju cam2'. kalo mak boyfriend nampak memamg wat menantu la kan? haha..kidding2.. but i'm saying the truth, how would i felt if all of my family members do the same thing. sejuk je mata memandang kan? i'm not saying that it was wrong with the way people dress. it is their freedom to do what they want to do. it is a free world, ok?
dalam hati memang dah lama nak beli tapi x mampu..ye la student lagi..elaun plak x masuk2..*sigh
took this pic from hijabschool page. have a visit there. i TOTALLY love their clothes!! \(^0^)/
i'm' trying my best to be like a 'true girl' ^^. be patient with me, sorry for last night
salam.
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM. ^^
Saturday, April 21, 2012
tudung
i realize now that my mom differs in many ways. i was sad knowing that my mom still does not support me with my changes. when i thought of wearing 'tudung labuh', i asked about my senior's opinion about it. she commented about this and that, but it was concluded to be a good thing, and it is. i am happy the way things are now.
i received their support, from my friends, from his family and i was glad. but not my mom. she was unhappy about it..
she kept saying to me to wear the 'tudung express' which i don't like it, it looks weird? i'm not saying that i hate people who wear it, or it is wrong or something. it just that i don't prefer it, especially wearing it. i felt very uncomfortable. i don't feel safe. that's all. ok? no hard feelings k?
so my mom said i look cute wearing it, it is very practical etc etc.. but it is still no. and i seriously don't like being pushed to do things that i don't want to. seriously stop.
why won't she let me wear it? if i asked her to wear 'tudung labuh', will she accept that? i'm not the one who asked to go to london and spend time doing nothing. i'm not the one who spend thousand of dollars to buy PS3 and alienware. i'm not the one who asked to buy expensive telescope and at the end, it kept in the store. i'm just asking you to understand me, respect my choice. i'm still wearing a tudung. is it wrong? be like daddy..please? be like my friends.. i hope she understands me more because..she's my mom
i took this picture from here. i like the way islam is explained more. very brilliant. love it ^^
have fun reading it
salam.
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM.
i received their support, from my friends, from his family and i was glad. but not my mom. she was unhappy about it..
she kept saying to me to wear the 'tudung express' which i don't like it, it looks weird? i'm not saying that i hate people who wear it, or it is wrong or something. it just that i don't prefer it, especially wearing it. i felt very uncomfortable. i don't feel safe. that's all. ok? no hard feelings k?
so my mom said i look cute wearing it, it is very practical etc etc.. but it is still no. and i seriously don't like being pushed to do things that i don't want to. seriously stop.
why won't she let me wear it? if i asked her to wear 'tudung labuh', will she accept that? i'm not the one who asked to go to london and spend time doing nothing. i'm not the one who spend thousand of dollars to buy PS3 and alienware. i'm not the one who asked to buy expensive telescope and at the end, it kept in the store. i'm just asking you to understand me, respect my choice. i'm still wearing a tudung. is it wrong? be like daddy..please? be like my friends.. i hope she understands me more because..she's my mom
i took this picture from here. i like the way islam is explained more. very brilliant. love it ^^
have fun reading it
salam.
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
alhamdulillah
most of us passed the exam including me and acap..it was a great feeling even until now.. mula2 tgk dlu dlm list fail...tgk2 xde...dah stat bunga2 dah..hehe ...tgk list lulus plak.. pergh!! lulus kot!! walaupun no agak corot di situ menyedari bahawa sya byk main2, sy dah x ksah n hanya mmpu tersenyum gembira smbil melihat si dia...tgk2 kn untuk dia jugak...alhamdulillah dia pun lulus n tergelak gembira..
dah lama x tgk muka dia cm2..hehe
kitrg g surau sujud syukur n i plak trus solat asar sb alang2 dah msuk wak2..xde la tangguh2..tenang sket...lpas2 2..lpak la budak2 kat situ tgk result masing..last2 melekat ngn tyra sbab acap missing in action..elok2 je dpt txt dia ngn member kitrg..
sian mmber kitrg ada yg x lulus lagi...sdeh sgt2..
xpe2..
korg2..all the best k!! ganbatte!! korg leh buat!! kmi ada untuk support korg!! kita masuk kolej sma2..grad sma2...k?
finally, thanx 2 berkat doa semua org..their support.. their help.. their knowledge.. thank u u teman i sepanjg mgu exam yg meng'stress'kan hidup i..hehe..berkat jugak kn? lpas ni bleh la pk nk kawen ^^
salam. peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM. ^^
dah lama x tgk muka dia cm2..hehe
kitrg g surau sujud syukur n i plak trus solat asar sb alang2 dah msuk wak2..xde la tangguh2..tenang sket...lpas2 2..lpak la budak2 kat situ tgk result masing..last2 melekat ngn tyra sbab acap missing in action..elok2 je dpt txt dia ngn member kitrg..
sian mmber kitrg ada yg x lulus lagi...sdeh sgt2..
xpe2..
korg2..all the best k!! ganbatte!! korg leh buat!! kmi ada untuk support korg!! kita masuk kolej sma2..grad sma2...k?
finally, thanx 2 berkat doa semua org..their support.. their help.. their knowledge.. thank u u teman i sepanjg mgu exam yg meng'stress'kan hidup i..hehe..berkat jugak kn? lpas ni bleh la pk nk kawen ^^
salam. peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM. ^^
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
tomorrow
is the last day of my final exam as a 1st year student and it's gettig getting reallt excited but at the same time, nervous. i really don't want to take the supplement exam or repeat another year. it is just already so hard these days where i need to solve some problem. itu xleh gtaw sbb apa.. ^^
just study, pray and tawakkal ^^
salam. peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM.
just study, pray and tawakkal ^^
salam. peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
marriage
interesting huh? well, i kept saying that i want to get a soon as possible though i am still 20. kind of young but it's not possible. i knew a friend who was getting married at the age 20. she's beautiful and gorgeous. a very nice person too. i remember her vividly during my childhood that she took the lesson 'taekwondo' with me. i was around 8-9 years old back then. i still remember the moment my teacher said that she is going to get married soon to a guy, quit the taekwondo when she became his and i said..
"baru umur 20, awalnye akak 2 kawen! xpe ke?"
haha.. i never get an answer to that question when i was a kid. i was still young at that time. if anyone explain to me at that time, i may not understand a thing. it's a grown up stuff. now, the whole 'marriage' thing kept coming to me. the issue doesn't stop. almost everyday i heard the idea of marriage by anyone else i bumped to or i will start to talk about it. haha..
i realized that marriage is a big responsibility. like he used to said, it is not only about the guy and the girl, but it consider the family as well. plus, you need to think about the consequences, especially for those who get married as a student. you have to take care of your husband and the family needs (if you have kids) and your study.
there are beneficial things and quite 'unbeneficial' thing.
you have someone that you can count on, someone that you can rely on like for example, both of you are student and both of you study abroad. you have no close friends and family there to support you. yes, you may have your same course-mate but it will not be the same. they are not family. family and friends are different. you are closer to your family and they knew the best of you. i have to admit, even i rarely called my parents, even once a week. but if you have to stay overseas for years, that is going to be tough. my brother's girlfriend likes to say that she was homesick, she can't wait for holiday and stuff. even my roommate get homesick^^.
your partner will sometime be your study-mate that's for sure. i read an article with a headline
"PRESTASI CEMERLANG LEPAS KAHWIN"
so? you can be successful even though you are married. last thursday night i was watching 'semanis kurma' in tv9 with ustazah B and husband as MC and ustaz Z and wife as quest. a talk about 'married while studying'. i will not miss this opportunity!! so i texted my mom to watch it but my parents in CHINA!! so sad
anyway, ustaz Z's wife said that her studies result's increased quite high and ustaz Z pointed his finger to her and said that "she's the one who was helping me with the assignment-->>" haha..cute! NOTE; she does not torture her okay? it was the life of husband and wife where they helped each other together. isn't it wonderful?
*sigh
i'm so jealous of them. that night, i watched it with ZF,NA and kak M and we were all like wanting to get marry like pronto!
but.
make sure and remember that you must concentrate because you are still a student. if the guy has already work then it's fine. for students, warning that you must support the family and give 'nafkah' to them (guys). your responsibility is high and make sure that you excel in your studies. don't think that both of you have already tied the knot and everything is settled. it was just a starting point. later on, you will need to do things on your own, without your parents help.
kind of difficult though. lately my friends kept saying that it has become a trend of going getting married at a young age. but for me, it is a good thing because you can avoid of doing 'maksiat'. know what i'm saying? but if you x mampu, then try read about 'nikah khitbah' or some say . for some people, they don't agree with the idea of 'nikah gantung' but you decide. if you want to get married so badly, then discuss with both family. i'm not some ustazah to decide whether it is haram or halal to do so. just giving my opinion ^^.
as for me, i thought of getting married before i go to India. i have to talk my mom first because for his side, everything is quite settled ^^. pray for us ok?
i took this picture from tudungpeople page. feel free to visit them.
salam. peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM.
"baru umur 20, awalnye akak 2 kawen! xpe ke?"
haha.. i never get an answer to that question when i was a kid. i was still young at that time. if anyone explain to me at that time, i may not understand a thing. it's a grown up stuff. now, the whole 'marriage' thing kept coming to me. the issue doesn't stop. almost everyday i heard the idea of marriage by anyone else i bumped to or i will start to talk about it. haha..
i realized that marriage is a big responsibility. like he used to said, it is not only about the guy and the girl, but it consider the family as well. plus, you need to think about the consequences, especially for those who get married as a student. you have to take care of your husband and the family needs (if you have kids) and your study.
there are beneficial things and quite 'unbeneficial' thing.
you have someone that you can count on, someone that you can rely on like for example, both of you are student and both of you study abroad. you have no close friends and family there to support you. yes, you may have your same course-mate but it will not be the same. they are not family. family and friends are different. you are closer to your family and they knew the best of you. i have to admit, even i rarely called my parents, even once a week. but if you have to stay overseas for years, that is going to be tough. my brother's girlfriend likes to say that she was homesick, she can't wait for holiday and stuff. even my roommate get homesick^^.
your partner will sometime be your study-mate that's for sure. i read an article with a headline
"PRESTASI CEMERLANG LEPAS KAHWIN"
so? you can be successful even though you are married. last thursday night i was watching 'semanis kurma' in tv9 with ustazah B and husband as MC and ustaz Z and wife as quest. a talk about 'married while studying'. i will not miss this opportunity!! so i texted my mom to watch it but my parents in CHINA!! so sad
anyway, ustaz Z's wife said that her studies result's increased quite high and ustaz Z pointed his finger to her and said that "she's the one who was helping me with the assignment-->>" haha..cute! NOTE; she does not torture her okay? it was the life of husband and wife where they helped each other together. isn't it wonderful?
*sigh
i'm so jealous of them. that night, i watched it with ZF,NA and kak M and we were all like wanting to get marry like pronto!
but.
make sure and remember that you must concentrate because you are still a student. if the guy has already work then it's fine. for students, warning that you must support the family and give 'nafkah' to them (guys). your responsibility is high and make sure that you excel in your studies. don't think that both of you have already tied the knot and everything is settled. it was just a starting point. later on, you will need to do things on your own, without your parents help.
kind of difficult though. lately my friends kept saying that it has become a trend of going getting married at a young age. but for me, it is a good thing because you can avoid of doing 'maksiat'. know what i'm saying? but if you x mampu, then try read about 'nikah khitbah' or some say . for some people, they don't agree with the idea of 'nikah gantung' but you decide. if you want to get married so badly, then discuss with both family. i'm not some ustazah to decide whether it is haram or halal to do so. just giving my opinion ^^.
as for me, i thought of getting married before i go to India. i have to talk my mom first because for his side, everything is quite settled ^^. pray for us ok?
i took this picture from tudungpeople page. feel free to visit them.
salam. peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
2 april..
as long as i can remember, i never celebrated my birthday in hostel or other places than home in kajang because ada je event yang menyebabkan i will always be at home except in form 5. i was sleeping and suddenly everyone sang a birthday song to me who was still in subconscious state. haha, that is the only moment i celebrated it at hostel. the closest one with me at that time is ain. we've been friends for more than 10 years so i'm happy with her being with me. now, i have him even though there is a probability he will not remember my birthday because? well, he likes to said that his family don't celebrate such things. so i didn't expect much from him. as long as he's with me, it is more than ok. from now, i guess that there will be no more celebrating birthday at home. another a year and a half in ipoh and 2 years and a half in india (insyaAllah), what do you expect? being at home every weekend? well, it is possible for teeqa. she went back to kl every weekend, haha..poor her, or else she will go insane being here in ipoh. once she asked me,
"what did you do in ipoh every weekend? i bosan"
haha...yela, buddy tersayang dia pun xde time 2, lagi2 for me who will be in india, i don't think i can afford of buying a ticket back to malaysia every weekend, which cost thousands of ringgit. even monthly pun xde nye la..
anyway, happy study!
*i'm getting a year older than him =.="
"what did you do in ipoh every weekend? i bosan"
haha...yela, buddy tersayang dia pun xde time 2, lagi2 for me who will be in india, i don't think i can afford of buying a ticket back to malaysia every weekend, which cost thousands of ringgit. even monthly pun xde nye la..
anyway, happy study!
*i'm getting a year older than him =.="
Saturday, March 31, 2012
what might happened..
i cried when i saw your text..
"i want you to be strong"
i know but it's hard..outside i am a girl who wears soldier's green pants, wore sneakers and sport shoes instead of heels or wedges, wore shirts instead or blouse or dress, but inside like tyra said, i am more sensitive and somewhat immature. yes, i want to marry you but knowing that my mom asked me to focus on my study, even though the didn't mind about us, still it hurts. it makes me scared. i don't want them to reject you. i'm scared of losing you. i'm scared of everything. i don't want to be separated with you. i don't want to end like my parents. no. i may look like get used to it. but it's not. it's a total no. i can't be strong.
i' sorry. i don't know what to do
"i want you to be strong"
i know but it's hard..outside i am a girl who wears soldier's green pants, wore sneakers and sport shoes instead of heels or wedges, wore shirts instead or blouse or dress, but inside like tyra said, i am more sensitive and somewhat immature. yes, i want to marry you but knowing that my mom asked me to focus on my study, even though the didn't mind about us, still it hurts. it makes me scared. i don't want them to reject you. i'm scared of losing you. i'm scared of everything. i don't want to be separated with you. i don't want to end like my parents. no. i may look like get used to it. but it's not. it's a total no. i can't be strong.
i' sorry. i don't know what to do
Friday, March 30, 2012
strabismus
what is a strabismus? or some people called it as 'squint'. well, it is a condition where someone's eye is not aligned in one another. malay people called it as 'juling'. yeah. juling. it is a disease that i have since i was a kid but lucky me, i have 'juling air' which is not so obvious. but sometimes. it can be so tiring and painful. like now, i was doing some exercise on my eyes and i can felt my muscle is stretched forcefully. it makes me felt so tired and dizzy.
i used to say hi to every people i bumped to but it stopped because i realized that when i say to them, they will look back, look back in front facing me and said
"ko kata kat aku ke?"
it was like...damn! i'm talking to you ok? i was pretending that it looks ok, nothing is different but somehow i felt sad. it annoys me until now. i supposedly to have get used to it because it has been more than 10 years i had this condition. still, i was quite unhappy about it even though i had to admit, i'm the one who does it to myself. it's a long story. anyway, i really hope that one day i will have an eye surgery to fix it. to be honest, it is scary. but i just can't stand it. it really make me tired. i have exam. i need to study. seriously its bugging me.
i used to say hi to every people i bumped to but it stopped because i realized that when i say to them, they will look back, look back in front facing me and said
"ko kata kat aku ke?"
it was like...damn! i'm talking to you ok? i was pretending that it looks ok, nothing is different but somehow i felt sad. it annoys me until now. i supposedly to have get used to it because it has been more than 10 years i had this condition. still, i was quite unhappy about it even though i had to admit, i'm the one who does it to myself. it's a long story. anyway, i really hope that one day i will have an eye surgery to fix it. to be honest, it is scary. but i just can't stand it. it really make me tired. i have exam. i need to study. seriously its bugging me.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
few nites before exam
exam? totally not in the mood
sleep? yup
eat? done
study? not in the mood -.-"
in love? of course! ^^
haha...ckp psal love, nk kawen mmg no1..haha..well, "he" had late lunch with me and my family last time and it was ok..at least i know that he is accepted in the family.. i mean that my family doesn't mind me making friends with him..and they know about us..so i am superbly happy..but he is quite uncomfortable with it.. but it's ok..for me, it was more than enough..
we didnt talk much about that day because he will start to get sad/angry..so i dont want that thing to happen as we're in exam mode..kinda? haha..
hope for the best and pass this exam.. i wanna get marry.. PRONTO!
*time ni la digunakan sebaiknya untuk berangan and merapu ^^
sleep? yup
eat? done
study? not in the mood -.-"
in love? of course! ^^
haha...ckp psal love, nk kawen mmg no1..haha..well, "he" had late lunch with me and my family last time and it was ok..at least i know that he is accepted in the family.. i mean that my family doesn't mind me making friends with him..and they know about us..so i am superbly happy..but he is quite uncomfortable with it.. but it's ok..for me, it was more than enough..
we didnt talk much about that day because he will start to get sad/angry..so i dont want that thing to happen as we're in exam mode..kinda? haha..
hope for the best and pass this exam.. i wanna get marry.. PRONTO!
*time ni la digunakan sebaiknya untuk berangan and merapu ^^
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
early in the morning
currently it's 6.30 am..not sleep from 2.00 a.m..thought of waking him up but i failed...thinking about it back, let him sleep after few temps (not a few actually)since he help me with some stuff..put the desk in place and others.. poor him i have gave him a hard time..i guess lepas ni x ngadu2 la kot? huhu..
bosan selama 4 jam 30 min alone in the room with my sleeping roommate..cover some notes though.. ^^
and being early in the morning like this makes me think about stuffs again..tears come out, again *sigh
anyway, lets go to class. get prepare!
bosan selama 4 jam 30 min alone in the room with my sleeping roommate..cover some notes though.. ^^
and being early in the morning like this makes me think about stuffs again..tears come out, again *sigh
anyway, lets go to class. get prepare!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
2 weeks
alhamdulilah it has been about 2 weeks since the first day i wear this tudung labuh and im so happy about it ^^ well, im not the alim kind of person. though i wear tudung labuh it doesnt mean that im alim or whatever you might call.. im just comfortable with it... ireally did..
i still remember my mother started to make faces when i arrived at putrajaya..my dad didnt say anything, which for me is a good thing. at least his does not condemn or critic or such.. then it started where my mom ask me why i wear it..kan menyushkan la...suh pkai tdung express je la (which is a big NO!!!) mcm2 la...mls nk ckp...dah la tdung express 2 npk bntuk kpala and rambut..and i kind of dislike it to be honest...
mlm 2 jemput my brother and dia kata
"mak, sejak bile yaya jadi muslimah ni?"
and she replied
"entah, setahu mak, mak x hantar anak mak kat maahad"
and she started condenming again....sakit ati 2 ada jugak la kan, yela mak sndri ckp cm2...she not being supportive.. my adik2 just said
"kak ya, napa kak ya pkai tdung labuh?"
i just smiled.. they are just kids ^^ well.. kat kolej plak some says cantik, dah stat pakai tdung labuh..but so far..no critic or stuff...even org yang dok mengata dlu pun dah stat tgur, ckp hi and etc..its good..xde la rasa dendam sgt ^^ ok..no dendam anymore hahahaha..overall, it was very nice..
and im so addicted to see scarfs which is sell online...they look so cute!! ^^ and im so happy that with the help of him, i bought 2 of them from hijabformuslimah.blogspot.com. TQ DEAR!! ^^ well, there is lots of other websites but for now let just wait for these 2 ones..cant wait!! ^^
see ya in next post.
i still remember my mother started to make faces when i arrived at putrajaya..my dad didnt say anything, which for me is a good thing. at least his does not condemn or critic or such.. then it started where my mom ask me why i wear it..kan menyushkan la...suh pkai tdung express je la (which is a big NO!!!) mcm2 la...mls nk ckp...dah la tdung express 2 npk bntuk kpala and rambut..and i kind of dislike it to be honest...
mlm 2 jemput my brother and dia kata
"mak, sejak bile yaya jadi muslimah ni?"
and she replied
"entah, setahu mak, mak x hantar anak mak kat maahad"
and she started condenming again....sakit ati 2 ada jugak la kan, yela mak sndri ckp cm2...she not being supportive.. my adik2 just said
"kak ya, napa kak ya pkai tdung labuh?"
i just smiled.. they are just kids ^^ well.. kat kolej plak some says cantik, dah stat pakai tdung labuh..but so far..no critic or stuff...even org yang dok mengata dlu pun dah stat tgur, ckp hi and etc..its good..xde la rasa dendam sgt ^^ ok..no dendam anymore hahahaha..overall, it was very nice..
and im so addicted to see scarfs which is sell online...they look so cute!! ^^ and im so happy that with the help of him, i bought 2 of them from hijabformuslimah.blogspot.com. TQ DEAR!! ^^ well, there is lots of other websites but for now let just wait for these 2 ones..cant wait!! ^^
see ya in next post.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
haywire
i felt like giving up...everything is ruined..i dont think i am able to call your mother anymore...it is just too hard..knowing that she will never accept me..i will never make you happy..
mak
nabilah mintak maaf..nabilah tak ganggu mak dah k..
sayang mak.
mak
nabilah mintak maaf..nabilah tak ganggu mak dah k..
sayang mak.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
azam tahun baru
walaupun dah masuk bulan februari, azam tahun baru 2 patut dah kene ada la kan...but it's better than have nothing to accomplish betul x?
lately i've been thinking about many things, with many things had happen.. i realize how hard it might be, my god Allah is always there to guide all of us, my friends and me. it may look very hard where you think all hope is lost, no one can help you anymore. but one way or another, remember that He is always there to help you.
in order to thank Him, who help me in getting him back, new rules is made.
1. mind my manners with everyone
2. try learn to wear like a girl yang menutup aurat
3. study all out. how?
o at night, study at least 2 lectures (i will try my best!!)
o if i have free time, study lectures from modules before
o at the end of the week, go to the library. (harap umah mmg tido)
o elsewhere, g la mana2 tmpat comfortable ke
o xphm tnya...setel kan trus
o and please don't sleep in the class (T.T)
4. don't spend on 'benda x ketahuan'...seriously i have enough 'baju RM10'
5. diet..
o breakfast : no mknn berat. ckup utuk than until lunch...igt duit...
o lunch : nasi
o dinner : oat + biscuits
o no more eggs ( i felt so unhealthy wlaupun niat bek nk jimat..-.-")
o more plain water and don't skip my daily supplement..(ot's too big...)
o kalo dah nk sgt mkn berat mlm2, just once in a while..smgu sekali ke
6. 2 je kot?
i want my life is blessed by Allah now and always. thank you. hopefully niat ni kekal la smpai bile2.
tapi bile tgk2 blek...bile nk blaja memasak? *sigh
lately i've been thinking about many things, with many things had happen.. i realize how hard it might be, my god Allah is always there to guide all of us, my friends and me. it may look very hard where you think all hope is lost, no one can help you anymore. but one way or another, remember that He is always there to help you.
in order to thank Him, who help me in getting him back, new rules is made.
1. mind my manners with everyone
2. try learn to wear like a girl yang menutup aurat
3. study all out. how?
o at night, study at least 2 lectures (i will try my best!!)
o if i have free time, study lectures from modules before
o at the end of the week, go to the library. (harap umah mmg tido)
o elsewhere, g la mana2 tmpat comfortable ke
o xphm tnya...setel kan trus
o and please don't sleep in the class (T.T)
4. don't spend on 'benda x ketahuan'...seriously i have enough 'baju RM10'
5. diet..
o breakfast : no mknn berat. ckup utuk than until lunch...igt duit...
o lunch : nasi
o dinner : oat + biscuits
o no more eggs ( i felt so unhealthy wlaupun niat bek nk jimat..-.-")
o more plain water and don't skip my daily supplement..(ot's too big...)
o kalo dah nk sgt mkn berat mlm2, just once in a while..smgu sekali ke
6. 2 je kot?
i want my life is blessed by Allah now and always. thank you. hopefully niat ni kekal la smpai bile2.
tapi bile tgk2 blek...bile nk blaja memasak? *sigh
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
i really want to play guitar
i started wanting to play it since i heard yui, from japan playing it. she's a local artist btw. it was fun just to hear to her songs and i was determined that one day, i will play a guitar. well, when will be that 'one day', still im not sure yet ..but then my mom said that she will not allow me to do so. *sigh. a bit hurt there. so there's nothing i can do about it. and then came IU, a teenage korean singer who debuted at the age 15-16's,and most important, loves to play guitar. she also composes some songs for her latest album, 'last fantasy' if im not mistaken, correct me if im wrong ^^. with her beautiful and charming voice, nice looking plus the talent, it came back to me again..that i really want to play a guitar. obviously not for glamour ok? i dont like it..i just wanna play it for fun ^^. but to be honest, my left hand is very........i dont know what to say..keras kot...there was a time when i tried to play a guitar and seriously my hand is just so stubborn!! yela..its been a while since the last time i play an instrument. it has been many years. i cant remember how to read notes, how to play.. of course la x igt..hentam keroo sja...ahahhaha^0^..asking for other people's help? PASS!! segan ler..dah la tgn jadi cni..org nk ajar pun mesti fed up...hhuhuhu T.T
really want to get back on my art skill. i still remember one of my friend says..
"ko bella, boleh melukis, men alat muzik..pergh! sgt2 flexible.."
i wish i can be like that again one more time
*yawn.. sleepy..not ready to sleep
really want to get back on my art skill. i still remember one of my friend says..
"ko bella, boleh melukis, men alat muzik..pergh! sgt2 flexible.."
i wish i can be like that again one more time
*yawn.. sleepy..not ready to sleep
Monday, January 9, 2012
napa..
lately you easily got angry, especially to me..
dlu abg bleh kawal lagi mrh abg..
skng stiap ari abg nk mrh..mula2 hepi ja n then ttba abg trus nk mrh2..
ckp sket slah..x jwb hp slah.. x blas slh..suma nabilah wat slah..tido slah..x tido slah..nabilah xtaw la nk wat apa..ikut abg la nk pk cna pun k? nabilah dah x larat..abg dah jnji..abg x mrh nabilah..tp abg mrh jugak..nabilah slalu ulang, slalu tnya abg..abg x mrah nabilah kan? kn?
nabilah nk ckp mcm2 ngn abg.. byk sgt bnda.. nabilah rndu abg sgt2..napa wat nabilah cni.. mlm2 nabilah ngs sorg2.. nabilah prlukan abg.. abg xphm nabilah ka.. T.T
dlu abg bleh kawal lagi mrh abg..
skng stiap ari abg nk mrh..mula2 hepi ja n then ttba abg trus nk mrh2..
ckp sket slah..x jwb hp slah.. x blas slh..suma nabilah wat slah..tido slah..x tido slah..nabilah xtaw la nk wat apa..ikut abg la nk pk cna pun k? nabilah dah x larat..abg dah jnji..abg x mrh nabilah..tp abg mrh jugak..nabilah slalu ulang, slalu tnya abg..abg x mrah nabilah kan? kn?
nabilah nk ckp mcm2 ngn abg.. byk sgt bnda.. nabilah rndu abg sgt2..napa wat nabilah cni.. mlm2 nabilah ngs sorg2.. nabilah prlukan abg.. abg xphm nabilah ka.. T.T
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
im so depressed
i am tired of crying. i am tired of being scolded. i am tired of studying medic. i am tired being left alone. i am tired being quiet. i am tired acting like i am oldest and have to do everything. i am tired of everything.i am not happy.
i need someone. i need you. though i said i wanted to be alone, i dont. please stay by my side.comfort me. please.
i cant hold on for much longer..
i need someone. i need you. though i said i wanted to be alone, i dont. please stay by my side.comfort me. please.
i cant hold on for much longer..
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