i guess i have to wait a lil bit more

it is almost may and there are few days more till the 'vacation' ends. hhaha..vacation la sangat kn? semalam blek keje dr kl..mgu ni insyaAllah ada rezeki kene g lagi..huhu..mmg lpas ni xde la nk ngadu keje penat ke apa..kene buasakan...ye x? hehe..

this week was more than ok..i went to buy 2 jubah with my mom kat kajang sebab murah punya pasal..^^ and semalam plak keje...x sempat tgk my sis kat skola dia..blek umah je dh 6 lbeh..pnat jugak la kn..kat tmpat keje jumpa some few kwn lama spt Aqilah Asri, one of my best friend kt mrsm, Hasif her ex-classmate, Nik Fatin Filzah my teman gaduh kat kmkn, Angah my scandal kat plkn dlu, and not 2 forget my senior kat rcmp yg dah kawen Kak Hafizah who i terjumpa kat putrajaya.. congrats to her!! x cukup tgn semalam sb ramai sgt jumpa...pas2 sembang2 ngn budak len jugak kat 'office'.. tjumpa pak su tp x sempat tgur sb dia on phone and i'm with angah..so bz2 people....haha.. xde la..wat kan dri bz jew..x bz mana pun ^^

oh..not 2 forget i bought some new hand socks, plain and colored ones, i so love it!!! so cute!! nk ikut ati bli je suma tapi xde duit ye anak2..huhu..tgu elaun masuk.. if x bz mula la pk pasal nk kawen *gatal sgt dah..

mana x nyew, dpt tau Dena Bahrin dah kawen yesterday lagi la melaram nk kawen..both wearing white attire.. sgt cute!! and few days ago my mom mentioned about my brother mintak nikah khitbah kat my mom..bncg ngn my dad tp my dad pun senyap je...so tau2 la the answer is no.. if my brother cm2..lagi2 la kalo i'm the one yg mintak nk kawen.. confirm kene reject bulat2 kn? so pulas la kpala pk nk ckp cne kat mak abah pasal kawen ni.. my mom said something cni..

(in the car nk jemput abg blek)

mom : ni mak cite kat yaya, yaya jgn cite kat abg taw?

me : ye2..

mom : ari2 abg I**** mintak nikah khitbah kat mak

me : (....)

mom : bla.. bla.. bla.. *censored ^^

me : abah tau x?

mom : tau.. mak dah ckp kat abh dah ari 2..abah senyap je, wat xtaw je..phm2 je la

me: oh..

mom : xdela..kalo nk kawen pun, kak I*** 2 cne? nnti dia nk blik cne? kalo faamily dia tnya cne plak? mak xtaw la...
...

at that time mmg x byk ckp la sb xtau nk ckp apa kn.. i just don't understand the kak I*** part nak blik mana 2..kalo dah kawen ngn abg.. ikut la nk blik mana kn??..huhu..ntoh le...kita berserah je la ye? huhuhuhu
*kene sabar lagi....

salam.
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM ^^

change?

lately, i kept thinking about how i used to be and the way i am now. i was a girl who doesn't act like one, you know, wearing t-shirts instead of 'baju kurung', wearing sport shoe instead of heels. yeah, how bad i can be. i have to admit, i like way i am before. i like to wear my fav army pants which i bought it in hong kong 2 years ago, and i like to wear my brother's sweater which is so big, my hand is too short i can't see it. and i love sport shoes. so comfy. love it so much. well, i grew up with my brothers and their friends for years until my sister was born. took her long enough ^^. i don't like being labeled as a 'gedik' girl and i really don't like it when guys stare or look or wink to me. it is just so wrong. that is also why i dressed like a guy. but as i grew up, i know that it is quite unpleasant for a girl to act like a guy. when i go to 'kenduri kahwin', i don't wear 'baju kurung'. haha..weird huh? yeah, how bad i used to be. i tried to changed bit by bit and it was hard.

i started off with my 'tudung', followed by my shirts. i kept 'angan2' of  buying new clothes because my shirts is too 'ketat' and short, i don't plan on wearing it anymore.  so, my clothes is quite limited i must say. well, baju kurung banyak la tapi keinginan nk pakai baju kurung 2 agak susah la. malas nk gosok. 2 je sebab nye ^^. i don't know since when it happen but i totally fall in love with long dress and jubah now. well, recently i was reading dena bahrin's blog. she's a friend of a friend. she updated about what she has been doing recently which is preparing for her wedding. congrats to her ^^. and i saw her picture wearing a red dress and white cardigan with orange-like tudung. it was just so cute and it comes to me like...

"oh, how cute can it be if all girls and women wearing the same proper clothes as she is? would the world be at peace"

haha.quite funny, don't mind it. i'm just saying that 'manisnya tengok perempuan pakai baju cam2'. kalo mak boyfriend nampak memamg wat menantu la kan? haha..kidding2.. but i'm saying the truth, how  would i felt if all of my family members do the same thing. sejuk je mata memandang kan? i'm not saying that it was wrong with the way people dress. it is their freedom to do what they want to do. it is a free world, ok?

dalam hati memang dah lama nak beli tapi x mampu..ye la student lagi..elaun plak x masuk2..*sigh

took this pic from hijabschool page. have a visit there. i TOTALLY love their clothes!! \(^0^)/

i'm' trying my best to be like a 'true girl' ^^. be patient with me, sorry for last night

salam.
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM.  ^^

tudung

i realize now that my mom differs in many ways. i was sad knowing that my mom still does not support me with my changes. when i thought of wearing 'tudung labuh', i asked about my senior's opinion about it. she commented about this and that, but it was concluded to be a good thing, and it is. i am happy the way things are now.
i received their support, from my friends, from his family and i was glad. but not my mom. she was unhappy about it..

she kept saying to me to wear the 'tudung express' which i don't like it, it looks weird? i'm not saying that i hate people who wear it, or it is wrong or something. it just that i don't prefer it, especially wearing it. i felt very uncomfortable. i don't feel safe. that's all. ok? no hard feelings k?
so my mom said i look cute wearing it, it is very practical etc etc.. but it is still no. and i seriously don't like being pushed to do things that i don't want to. seriously stop.

why won't she let me wear it? if i asked her to wear 'tudung labuh', will she accept that? i'm not the one who asked to go to london and spend time doing nothing. i'm not the one who spend thousand of dollars to buy PS3 and alienware. i'm not the one who asked to buy expensive telescope and at the end, it kept in the store. i'm just asking you to understand me, respect my choice. i'm still wearing a tudung. is it wrong? be like daddy..please? be like my friends.. i hope she understands me more because..she's my mom

i took this picture from here. i like the way islam is explained more. very brilliant. love it ^^
have fun reading it

salam.
peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM.

lapar..

dah bape hari x mkn nasi..lapar..nk mkn bnda berkuah...lapaaaaaaaarrrr

alhamdulillah

most of us passed the exam including me and acap..it was a great feeling even until now.. mula2 tgk dlu dlm list fail...tgk2 xde...dah stat bunga2 dah..hehe ...tgk list lulus plak.. pergh!! lulus kot!! walaupun no agak corot di situ menyedari bahawa sya byk main2, sy dah x ksah n hanya mmpu tersenyum gembira smbil melihat si dia...tgk2 kn untuk dia jugak...alhamdulillah dia pun lulus n tergelak gembira..
dah lama x tgk muka dia cm2..hehe
kitrg g surau sujud syukur n i plak trus solat asar sb alang2 dah msuk wak2..xde la tangguh2..tenang sket...lpas2 2..lpak la budak2 kat situ tgk result masing..last2 melekat ngn tyra sbab acap missing in action..elok2 je dpt txt dia ngn member kitrg..
sian mmber kitrg ada yg x lulus lagi...sdeh sgt2..

xpe2..

korg2..all the best k!! ganbatte!! korg leh buat!! kmi ada untuk support korg!! kita masuk kolej sma2..grad sma2...k?


finally, thanx 2 berkat doa semua org..their support.. their help.. their knowledge.. thank u u teman i sepanjg mgu exam yg meng'stress'kan hidup i..hehe..berkat jugak kn? lpas ni bleh la pk nk kawen ^^

salam. peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM. ^^

tomorrow

is the last day of my final exam as a 1st year student and it's gettig getting reallt excited but at the same time, nervous. i really don't want to take the supplement exam or repeat another year. it is just already so hard these days where i need to solve some problem. itu xleh gtaw sbb apa.. ^^

just study, pray and tawakkal ^^

salam. peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM.

marriage

interesting huh? well, i kept saying that i want to get a soon as possible though i am still 20. kind of young but it's not possible. i knew a friend who was getting married at the age 20. she's beautiful and gorgeous. a very nice person too. i remember her vividly during my childhood that she took the lesson 'taekwondo' with me. i was around 8-9 years old back then. i still remember the moment my teacher said that she is going to get married soon to a guy, quit the taekwondo when she became his and i said..

"baru umur 20, awalnye akak 2 kawen! xpe ke?"

haha.. i never get an answer to that question when i was a kid. i was still young at that time. if anyone explain to me at that time, i may not understand a thing. it's a grown up stuff. now, the whole 'marriage' thing kept coming to me. the issue doesn't stop. almost everyday i heard the idea of marriage by anyone else i bumped to or i will start to talk about it. haha..

i realized that marriage is a big responsibility. like he used to said, it is not only about the guy and the girl, but it consider the family as well. plus, you need to think about the consequences, especially for those who get married as a student. you have to take care of your husband and the family needs (if you have kids) and your study.

there are beneficial things and quite 'unbeneficial' thing.

you have someone that you can count on, someone that you can rely on like for example, both of you are student and both of you study abroad. you have no close friends and family there to support you. yes, you may have your same course-mate but it will not be the same. they are not family. family and friends are different. you are closer to your family and they knew the best of you. i have to admit, even i rarely called my parents, even once a week. but if you have to stay overseas for years, that is going to be tough. my brother's girlfriend likes to say that she was homesick, she can't wait for holiday and stuff. even my roommate get homesick^^.

your partner will sometime be your study-mate that's for sure. i read an article with a headline

"PRESTASI CEMERLANG LEPAS KAHWIN"

so? you can be successful even though you are married. last thursday night i was watching 'semanis kurma' in tv9 with ustazah B and husband as MC and ustaz Z and wife as quest. a talk about 'married while studying'. i will not miss this opportunity!! so i texted my mom to watch it but my parents in CHINA!! so sad

anyway, ustaz Z's wife said that her studies result's increased quite high and ustaz Z pointed his finger to her and said that "she's the one who was helping me with the assignment-->>" haha..cute! NOTE; she does not torture her okay? it was the life of husband and wife where they helped each other together. isn't it wonderful?

*sigh

i'm so jealous of them. that night, i watched it with ZF,NA and kak M and we were all like wanting to get marry like pronto!

but.

make sure and remember that you must concentrate because you are still a student. if the guy has already work then it's fine. for students, warning that you must support the family and give 'nafkah' to them (guys). your responsibility is high and make sure that you excel in your studies. don't think that both of you have already tied the knot and everything is settled. it was just a starting point. later on, you will need to do things on your own, without your parents help.

kind of difficult though. lately my friends kept saying that it has become a trend of going getting married at a young age. but for me, it is a good thing because you can avoid of doing 'maksiat'. know what i'm saying? but if you x mampu, then try read about 'nikah khitbah' or some say . for some people, they don't agree with the idea of 'nikah gantung' but you decide. if you want to get married so badly, then discuss with both family. i'm not some ustazah to decide whether it is haram or halal to do so. just giving my opinion ^^.

as for me, i thought of getting married before i go to India. i have to talk my mom first because for his side, everything is quite settled ^^. pray for us ok?



i took this picture from tudungpeople page. feel free to visit them.

salam. peace be upon you. peace be upon HIM.

2 april..

as long as i can remember, i never celebrated my birthday in hostel or other places than home in kajang because ada je event yang menyebabkan i will always be at home except in form 5. i was sleeping and suddenly everyone sang a birthday song to me who was still in subconscious state. haha, that is the only moment i celebrated it at hostel. the closest one with me at that time is ain. we've been friends for more than 10 years so i'm happy with her being with me. now, i have him even though there is a probability he will not remember my birthday because? well, he likes to said that his family don't celebrate such things. so i didn't expect much from him. as long as he's with me, it is more than ok. from now, i guess that there will be no more celebrating birthday at home. another a year and a half in ipoh and 2 years and a half in india (insyaAllah), what do you expect? being at home every weekend? well, it is possible for teeqa. she went back to kl every weekend, haha..poor her, or else she will go insane being here in ipoh. once she asked me,

"what did you do in ipoh every weekend? i bosan"

haha...yela, buddy tersayang dia pun xde time 2, lagi2 for me who will be in india, i don't think i can afford of buying a ticket back to malaysia every weekend, which cost thousands of ringgit. even monthly pun xde nye la..

anyway, happy study!

*i'm getting a year older than him =.="