strabismus

what is a strabismus? or some people called it as 'squint'. well, it is a condition where someone's eye is not aligned in one another. malay people called it as 'juling'. yeah. juling. it is a disease that i have since i was a kid but lucky me, i have 'juling air' which is not so obvious. but sometimes. it can be so tiring and painful. like now, i was doing some exercise on my eyes and i can felt my muscle is stretched forcefully. it makes me felt so tired and dizzy.

i used to say hi to every people i bumped to but it stopped because i realized that when i say to them, they will look back, look back in front facing me and said

"ko kata kat aku ke?"

it was like...damn! i'm talking to you ok? i was pretending that it looks ok, nothing is different but somehow i felt sad. it annoys me until now. i supposedly to have get used to it because it has been more than 10 years i had this condition. still, i was quite unhappy about it even though i had to admit, i'm the one who does it to myself. it's a long story. anyway, i really hope that one day i will have an eye surgery to fix it. to be honest, it is scary. but i just can't stand it. it really make me tired. i have exam. i need to study. seriously its bugging me.